Senator Ashburn, a divorced father of four and strong family-values kinda guy, is a strong supporter of Camp Nickleby. He supports our low-paid, non-union staff and our commitment to shoving mindless worksheets into the hands of our campers.
Last spring, he came to present a lesson during our annual ‘Anybody Can Be A Teacher’ day. He presented a sewing demonstration in our Home Economics department, creating a lovely taffeta skirt in under ten minutes, using a Bernina 1008 machine. Senior Muntheenia Dwelb recalls Senator Ashburn’s visit. “The skirt he made was, like, totally awesome, but the guy kinda creeped me out. I mean, dude, he really liked my new pair of espadrilles and kept asking me where I got them and how much they cost.” stated Ms. Dwelb.
Ashburn has issued an apology for the incident: "I am deeply sorry for my actions and offer no excuse for my poor judgment. I accept complete responsibility for my conduct and am prepared to accept the consequences for what I did. I am also truly sorry for the impact this incident will have on those who support and trust me - my family, my constituents, my friends, and my colleagues in the Senate." There was no word whether the former Mrs. Ashburn was at his side during his apology.
Senator Ashburn eventually admitted that he is, in fact, gay! Billy Bob Norkle, president of the Camp Nickleby Young Republicans club, was beside himself with grief. "I just can't believe this about Senator Ashburn. This is really a hard one for me to swallow."