IT SOUNDS SO SIMPLE

It's all those damn lazy teachers' fault!

STILL WAITING FOR HOPE AND CHANGE?

I went down to Cedarville over the weekend to pick up some provisions. While driving around, I noticed this poor schmuck standing on a corner, panhandling. Apparently Obama’s stimulus bucks haven’t reached this guy yet. It is always heart-rending to see somebody facing hard times, but it is even more troubling to witness somebody this down on his luck. Feeling sorry for him, I gave him a few bucks, and a Camp Nickleby application. I hope he finds something more rewarding than teaching. Cleaning toilets at the ballpark perhaps or working at a slaughter house.

WHAT'S FOR LUNCH?

Well, Camp is out for a couple of days. Four-day weekend for President's Day (woo, woo!) I feel a little bit guilty because I know people in the real world might only get Monday off work. Yet another reason to hate us librul public school teachers. Suck it!

On my way down the mountain, I saw this sign advertising a new fast-food marvel, and I just had to try it!

Wow, you could really taste that basket!

If only it had some kale on it!

THE ERA OF MAGICAL THINKING CONTINUES

IT’S ALIVE!!!

I kinda feel sorry for all of the teachers out there who voted for the Big O, thinking that he would trash Bush’s War on Teacherism. But no, that doesn’t seem to be the case. With Field Marshall Duncan at his side, the POTUS is just going to push through the same garbage in a bright and shiny new package. Some of the words may be different, but it’s gonna be the SOS boys and girls.

A recent article concerning the proposed changes to No Child Left Behind pretty much spells it out for us. In the article, it is stated that Field Marshall Duncan foreshadowed the elimination of the 2014 100% proficiency deadline in a September speech, referring to it as a “utopian goal,” and administration officials have since made clear that they want the deadline eliminated. (OK, so far, so good)

The Dunc’s new goal, which would replace the 2014 universal proficiency deadline, would be for ALL students to leave high school “college or career ready.” (Huh? Doesn’t 100% mean ALL? Or am I just a home-schooled moron? And what exactly does college or career ready mean?)

One of the main components of the Dunc’s overhaul of education, known as The Race off the Road into the Ditch, is tying teacher pay with student performance on the lovely tests they take in the spring. This assumes that the kids actually care about their performance on the tests. They don’t. They have absolutely no buy-in on these tests. It doesn’t affect their GPA, graduation or college admissions. Good system to evaluate teachers by, no?

Once again, we have ‘experts’ outside of the field of education who have never taught and have no idea what it’s like to work with the youngins on a daily basis. But they know how it should be done. It all requires magical thinking.

And then there’s this delusional thinking from the great state of Wyoming. At least one of the comment letters to this piece got it right!

" I agree with accountability and competitiveness, but as it is right now students' test scores are not tied to graduation nor promotion. Students are fully aware of this and blow off the tests opting to 'just get it done with 'cause its a waste of their time and it doesn't matter anyway.' Is it fair to tie teacher pay to student performance when students aren't even held accountable to it? I would love to see the editors of this paper actually go into a classroom and teach for a year. When students do not want to learn is it all the teachers' fault? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. How about student accountability for a change? "

TEST 'EM 'TIL THEY CRY?

The state-sanctioned form of child abuse known as the California High School Exit Exam (CAHSEE) has started this week at Camp Nickleby. Yesterday was devoted to filling in bubbles on the English portion. Today, the campers will be filling in bubbles on the math portion of the test.

It is generally agreed that this test proves nothing. Kids pass it and still are not able to write or crunch numbers as well as Bill Gates or members of the Business Roundtable believe they should. It only measures what they know in the middle of their sophomore year. High schools, however, are judged failures if the kiddies do poorly on stuff they should have learned in middle school. The passing percentage is around 55%, which is considered failing on any other test given during the school year. It all makes so much sense to me.

Yesterday, I noticed one of my sophomore kids crying. He struggles with autism, but is an incredibly accomplished artist. What he can do with a No. 2 pencil is amazing. I am envious of his work! I asked him why he was crying and he simply said, “I took the CAHSEE today!”

Why is this not considered child abuse and punishable by law?