Well, week four into summer vacation is just about over, but it feels sooooooo good! We managed to make it through another year at Camp Nickleby, with the usually amount of year-end kvetching by seniors and parents of seniors. This year, I had a rather large amount of parents coming in, a few days before graduation, wondering why their precious little progeny was flunking an art class, and might not be able to graduate from high school. I explained to mummy that precious flower DIDN’T DO A @#%&ING THING all semester. Of course, precious flower expected to receive a passing grade, using the default reason in matters such as these, “But, I did all my work!” That fact that ‘the work’ was total crap didn’t seem to enter the equation for precious flower. Of course, I buckled and handed out my usual number of Christian-charity D-‘s.
This year, I bought a new addition to my computerized grading program. Most of the little people don’t quite understand the concept of computerized grading. The assume (never a good idea) that when they turn in a project or assignment, sometimes actually on time, that it immediately is reflected on the grade report. I explain to them, once again, that, “no precious flower, I have to somehow find the time to plug it into the computer.
I could see that, three weeks from the end of the semester, a large percentage of the kiddles still didn’t understand what was going on. Seniors who somehow thought they would automatically graduate from high school because they were ‘too gosh darned cute’, probably weren’t unless they started turning stuff in. It was time to use my new weapon against teenage sloth. I activated the FEAR OF GOD feature on my grading system. This feature shows the youngin’, instantly, what their final grade would look like if they didn’t turn stuff in. OMG, it was hilarious. They were running around like little chickens sans heads! There was crying and wailing and much gnashing of teeth. There were, of course, those unmotivateable darlins’ that could care less, and instead decided to ‘kick back’ for the rest of the semester. All in all, the FEAR OF GOD add-on was w
ell worth the $34.99 I paid for it. Available through amazon.com. Check it out.
The Camp is quiet now. Birds are singing in the trees. Plague-infested squirrels can be seen darting from tree to tree. Maintenance workers are attempting to the vast amount of damage that was inflicted on the camps facilities by the little darlins. Can’t wait for the new school year to start. Oh wait, yes I can. And that’s the news from Camp Nickleby, where every youngster enjoys the great outdoors, clean fresh air and daily mountain hikes, and NO CHILD'S LEFT BEHIND!
