In Pursuit of Happiness

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHN PRINE

Found this at Crooks and Liars this morning. Amazingly, many of my colleagues at Camp Nickleby still don't understand that this is what it's all about! And we're not talking the Hokey-Pokey!

Maggie Roark

BACK-TO-SCHOOL NIGHTMARES

Well, they started about a week ago. The back-to-school nightmares. Camp Nick starts up in another week. Some are more horrifying than others, but they are all bad. Most of the time, I wake up screaming. Unfortunately, mine don't include the lovely Teri Garr!

Honky Tonk Angel

THE BASTARD SON OF NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND?

I have just recently pulled my head out of the sand (or, whatever), and have become acquainted with the latest in the long list of 'educational reforms', that is the COMMON CORE STANDARDS (cue screeching violins). I'm educating myself on this bucket of bile: where did they come from, who wrote them and why, and what will the impact be on teaching this time around. While my self-education continutes, I found this comment on Ravitch's blog that helps to explain what the hell is going on.

"I tend to think that over time, this will be another “No Child Left Behind” disaster.

I could only hope as much, but CCSS does something no other act or program has ever tried to accomplish, and that is to justify the need for a national database on all students. That is to say, within a generation, all citizens. This is too big and too important of a ball to drop, unless it is replaced by a better ball.

In true Orwellian style, the common core will provide the oligarchy with a much needed tool to control the masses. The information gathered, justified by the CCSS, will be powerful enough to start a war. And not a war on another nation, but a war on our own lower class which, as automation increases, is no longer needed in such great numbers. 

I realize I sound like a conspiracy theorist when I say this, and I’ll admit, everything you read above is made up. The questions remain, though, why does the federal government want such a tool this badly, and why would we submit it to them?"

HAPPY BASTILLE DAY!

ANDY GRIFFITH AND THE DILLARDS

ONE OUT OF 180 AIN'T BAD, I GUESS

Received this email yesterday from a student. She was one of the few bright spots of the school year. She is going on to bigger and better things. This is the type of thing that keeps me going, I guess.

Hello Mr. Werthblergerstein*:

I am writing to thank you for teaching me about ceramics and it's many artists. Today I went to the Oakland Museum and during my explorations in the art exhibit I found many pieces of Peter Voulkos. Along with his work, I also found Micheal Lucero and Ron Nagle. I have to say that without you teaching me about their work I would have not understood their background history. It felt great to be one of the few to know who the artist was and what their method of working with clay was. Thank You. I hope you are having a fantastic summer vacation without us "students".

Love, Tundalejo Magellan*

*Names changed to protect the innocent!

BEST SUMMER SONG EH-VAH!

Romney's Pro-Choice Education Plan: WSJ Opinion

AND HERE IS THE MASTER PLAN!

EDUCATIONAL 'TOOL' FOR THE MONTH OF JUNE

Wow, not even 1/3 of the way through the month and we already have our 'educational tool'!

TRUTH BE TOLD: I found this on Crooks and Liars. I hope they don't get mad at me.

John Sununu (what the hell kind of a last name is that?), the chairman of presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney's national steering committee on Monday defended the candidate's "wisdom" that state and local government needed to "cut back" on teachers, firefighters and police.

"Let me respond as a taxpayer, not as a representative of the Romney campaign," former New Hampshire Gov. John Sununu said. "There are municipalities, there are states where there is flight of population. And as the population goes down, you need fewer teachers."

"If there's (there is?) fewer kids in the classroom, the taxpayers really do want to hear that there will be fewer teachers," Sununu insisted. "Absolutely."

OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE ALL TAXPAYERS HATE TEACHERS. BUT THAT IS ONLY MY GUESS. I REALLY WANT TO SEE AT LEAST 55 KIDS IN MY CLASSES NEXT YEAR. THE MORE THE MERRIER, RIGHT SUNUNU???

Moron!

 

TRICKLE-DOWN THEORY IN ACTION

I went down to Hog Lick Corners last Friday night to purchase some farm fresh onions at the Farmers Market and listen to some live bluegrass music in the park.


At the market, a woman came up to me, selling these buttons. I purchased one. I noticed that many people were acting like she didn't even exist. Much easier that way, I guess.


I even overheard one guy, staffing the Mountain Rebels Tea Party booth say to his neanderthal buddy, "Serves her right for being deaf. Maybe she should have thought of that before she was born!" WTF?


Wouldn't it be great if this lady made $23 million selling her humble creations and clowns at JP Morgan Chase had to sell @#%&ing buttons to eek out an existence?

Just sayin'.

Doc Watson - Deep River Blues

EDUCATIONAL 'TOOL' FOR THE MONTH OF MAY

(CNN) - Mitt Romney, who is spending this week promoting a plan for America’s public school system, spent Thursday morning defending his stance that smaller class sizes don’t necessarily equate with better learning in schools.

Romney participated in an education roundtable at a charter school in Philadelphia the day after laying out his education plan to Latino small business owners in Washington. Romney’s plan emphasizes school choice over other factors, including efforts to reduce the number of students in classrooms.

Speaking of his time as governor of Massachusetts, Romney said he was frequently told that smaller class sizes would lead to better learning, but that certain studies advised otherwise.

“I came into office and talked to people and said, ‘What can we do to improve our schools?’” Romney said at his Thursday event. “And a number of folks said we need smaller classroom sizes, that will make the biggest difference.”

Romney went on to cite a study that showed no correlation between classroom size and performance, naming schools in Cambridge, Massachusetts as an example.

Yep, sounds like the non-educator Mittster has it all figured out!

TEACHING THE SMARTEST KIDS IN THE WORLD

I am constantly amazed at what they can do, if they really put their little minds to it.

While cleaning up after a rather boisterous session with my 9th graders, I came upon the remains of one of our coping saws. It was embedded in a pile of wet clay. As everyone knows, a coping saw is often used to cut clay. Well, at least in my classroom.

But something was amiss with this saw. The handle seemed to be a tad truncated. And, low and behold, I discovered that one of my geniuses decided to saw the handle in half! Of course, this child cannot be held responsible. Not his or her fault. What else are they going to do when confronted with a perfectly whole coping saw? Why, take another saw and cut off the handle, of course.

Morons.

Rest In Peace, Mr. Helm

PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT IS SO IMPORTANT

Those of us in education always appreciate it when the parents are involved with their children's progress in school.

One of my 'superstars' handed me a Camp Nickleby Progress Report form last week to fill out! I was very surprised, and at the same time, somewhat encouraged. This young lad is part of my "What's For Breakfast" club. Five of them sit together at one table and start each day with a large Monster energy drink, accompanied by a bag of Cheetos or some other culinary delight. Each kid currently has a class average hovering around 23%! Any hope of finishing the semester with a passing grade at this time has vanished.

I looked at the Progress Report and asked him if his parents are having him fill this out each week because they are finally concerned with his grade in my class. "No, they don't really give a @#$& about my grades. It's for my coach!"

Teaching is so rewarding!

WHEN SKITTLES ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE SKITTLES

I'm getting sick and tired of the librul, lamestream media constantly saying that Trayvon Martin was an 'innocent' teenager. My God people, this kid was ARMED with a bag of Skittles. Harmless? I think not! Patriot George Zimmerman is lucky to be alive!

And don't even get me started on what damage a can of Arizona Ice Tea hurled at some Neighborhood Watch Generalissimo's melon would do!

You betcha!