AAARRRRRRRRR!

Are ye ready to buckle some swashes? It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Unfortunately, TLAPD happens on a Sunday this year. Bummer. The campers won't be able to enjoy my lectures delivered in my best pirateeze.

To help some of you landlubbers enjoy the day, here are Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like A Pirate Day (From the official website. No really, there IS an official TLAPD website.)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Arrrrrrr!

Schools Matter: Karen Lewis and Lois Weiner on Democracy Now

Schools Matter: Karen Lewis and Lois Weiner on Democracy Now: "Right-wing = neo-liberal and/or neocon:"

ZU ZU HAD IT ALL WRONG

I believe that every time a student asks, even though they have been reminded repeatedly, and it has been written on the board ALL WEEK LONG, "whaaahhh, like, uhhhh, I didn't know we were having a test today,' an angel gets its wings!

Yesterday at Camp Nickleby, there were many, many happy angels flying around!

WHAT DO ROOSTERS HAVE TO DO WITH SCHOOL REFORM?

ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END, I GUESS

It is with great sadness that I learned of the passing of www.rateyourstudents.blogspot.com, probably one of the funniest blogs dealing with that wonderful profession known as teaching. Although most of the contributors were college instructors and professors, those of us in the high school realm could often times commiserate with what was being put forth. I sure know I could. Stupidity knows no age barriers. It's everywhere.

I'm gonna miss you, rateyourstudents!

Disrespecting Our Beloved Corporations

Disrespecting Our Beloved Corporations

EDUCATIONAL TOOL FOR THE MONTH OF JULY

Is there an award for propaganda, similar to the Emmy, the Tony or the Oscar? If so, I think I’ve found this year’s winner, hands down! I received in the mail this past week a brochure from conservative California Assemblywoman Connie Conway. Camp Nickleby exists within the borders of her 34th district. Conway’s brochure deals with, every conservative’s favorite subject, the dismantling of public education.

The brochure contains the usual lunatic, wingnut talking points against those evil, public school teachers and their unions. A questionnaire within asks the reader his or her views on the usual, conservative screeds: student achievement as part of teacher evaluation (check), support of bilingual education (check), lifting the cap on the number of charter schools (check), merit pay for teachers (check) and increasing career technical education (check). This last one, I actually agree with. NOT EVERY KID NEEDS TO GO TO COLLEGE! But I digress . . .

In this slickly-produced brochure, we also learn that the only thing keeping California school children from learning effectively are ‘SPECIAL INTERESTS’! However, nowhere in the brochure do we discover who or what these special interests are, but I think they’re talking about UNIONS! Just my guess.

As an eye-catching visual, a photo of a freshly-scrubbed young woman (presumably a new teacher) is standing with her ‘students’. She is dressed conservatively in something she purchased at weareamish.com or perhaps WalMart. The ‘school’ behind her looks like it was just built, clean, and of course, painted white! Her little third-graders carefully represent every ethnic and perhaps religious belief. Oh wait, I don’t see an Islamic kid. Maybe the little blonde girl converted? The real kicker on this photo is that, while perusing my email yesterday, I clicked on BE A TEACHER and low and behold, there our WASPY young lady was again. This time advertising for an online, YOU TOO CAN BE A TEACHER IN JUST FOUR SHORT WEEKS website. Yeah, I want my kids’ teachers being trained on the Internet! WTF?

Well, I dutifully filled out the questionnaire, complete with snarky comments in the margins, including an invitation to Assemblywoman Conway to visit my classroom when camp resumes in August. I await her reply.