First, most of the campers did not know anything about the propositions, except for Prop 8, the anti-gay marriage initiative. I thought it would be a good idea to run through them quickly before they voted. With their usual five-nanosecond attention span, I’m not sure if this helped or not.
Second, the ballot designed for this exercise in futility was so confusing, most of the kids had no idea what or who they were voting for. Hmmmmmm, can you say Florida 2000? Although there were no hanging chads, most of the kids’ pencil erasers got a workout!
The camp powers-that-be initially considered giving the students a real U.S. election experience, and have them wait in line for three hours before they voted. At the last minute, they thought better of it. There were, however, some voting irregularities reported. Many of the campers came crying up to me, complaining that when they bubbled in Obama’s name, John McCain’s name was mysteriously bubbled in instead. Oddly enough, no kids claimed that Ralph Nader's name was magically bubbled in. Very curious. I emailed investigative journalist Gret Palast, and he promises to look into the matter.
On a darker note, several days ago, one of our Camp Nickleby Young Republicans came to school hysterical and claimed that she was accosted the night before at the Dairy Queen down in Cedarville. Heather Mumsford reported that a large, angry Obama supporter, seeing her wearing a McCain/Palin t-shirt, grabbed her milkshake, threw it to the ground, and proceeded to carve an ‘O’ into her forehead with a plastic spork. Many of the campers believed her without question. “That just sounds like something an Obama supporter would do”, they opined. But Flower Rainbow Light, president of the Nickleby Young Socialists club, sarcastically claimed, “She’s such a freakin' moron. She just carved it into her head herself, and carved it in backwards too!” After careful examination by the camp nurse, the carved ‘O’ was actually just an extreme case of ringworm!
And that’s the news from Camp Nickleby, where every youngster enjoys the great outdoors, clean fresh air and daily mountain hikes, and NO CHILD'S LEFT BEHIND!