Thursday, September 6, 2012


Found this at Crooks and Liars this morning. Amazingly, many of my colleagues at Camp Nickleby still don't understand that this is what it's all about! And we're not talking the Hokey-Pokey!



Saturday, August 4, 2012

BACK-TO-SCHOOL NIGHTMARES




Well, they started about a week ago. The back-to-school nightmares. Camp Nick starts up in another week. Some are more horrifying than others, but they are all bad. Most of the time, I wake up screaming. Unfortunately, mine don't include the lovely Teri Garr!

Monday, July 16, 2012

THE BASTARD SON OF NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND?


I have just recently pulled my head out of the sand (or, whatever), and have become acquainted with the latest in the long list of 'educational reforms', that is the COMMON CORE STANDARDS (cue screeching violins). I'm educating myself on this bucket of bile: where did they come from, who wrote them and why, and what will the impact be on teaching this time around. While my self-education continutes, I found this comment on Ravitch's blog that helps to explain what the hell is going on.

"I tend to think that over time, this will be another “No Child Left Behind” disaster.

I could only hope as much, but CCSS does something no other act or program has ever tried to accomplish, and that is to justify the need for a national database on all students. That is to say, within a generation, all citizens. This is too big and too important of a ball to drop, unless it is replaced by a better ball.

In true Orwellian style, the common core will provide the oligarchy with a much needed tool to control the masses. The information gathered, justified by the CCSS, will be powerful enough to start a war. And not a war on another nation, but a war on our own lower class which, as automation increases, is no longer needed in such great numbers. 

I realize I sound like a conspiracy theorist when I say this, and I’ll admit, everything you read above is made up. The questions remain, though, why does the federal government want such a tool this badly, and why would we submit it to them?"

Monday, July 2, 2012

ONE OUT OF 180 AIN'T BAD, I GUESS

Received this email yesterday from a student. She was one of the few bright spots of the school year. She is going on to bigger and better things. This is the type of thing that keeps me going, I guess.

Hello Mr. Werthblergerstein*:

I am writing to thank you for teaching me about ceramics and it's many artists. Today I went to the Oakland Museum and during my explorations in the art exhibit I found many pieces of Peter Voulkos. Along with his work, I also found Micheal Lucero and Ron Nagle. I have to say that without you teaching me about their work I would have not understood their background history. It felt great to be one of the few to know who the artist was and what their method of working with clay was. Thank You. I hope you are having a fantastic summer vacation without us "students".

Love, Tundalejo Magellan*

*Names changed to protect the innocent!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Romney's Pro-Choice Education Plan: WSJ Opinion


AND HERE IS THE MASTER PLAN!

Monday, June 11, 2012

EDUCATIONAL 'TOOL' FOR THE MONTH OF JUNE

Wow, not even 1/3 of the way through the month and we already have our 'educational tool'!

TRUTH BE TOLD: I found this on Crooks and Liars. I hope they don't get mad at me.

John Sununu (what the hell kind of a last name is that?), the chairman of presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney's national steering committee on Monday defended the candidate's "wisdom" that state and local government needed to "cut back" on teachers, firefighters and police.

"Let me respond as a taxpayer, not as a representative of the Romney campaign," former New Hampshire Gov. John Sununu said. "There are municipalities, there are states where there is flight of population. And as the population goes down, you need fewer teachers."

"If there's (there is?) fewer kids in the classroom, the taxpayers really do want to hear that there will be fewer teachers," Sununu insisted. "Absolutely."

OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE ALL TAXPAYERS HATE TEACHERS. BUT THAT IS ONLY MY GUESS. I REALLY WANT TO SEE AT LEAST 55 KIDS IN MY CLASSES NEXT YEAR. THE MORE THE MERRIER, RIGHT SUNUNU???

Moron!
 


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

TRICKLE-DOWN THEORY IN ACTION

I went down to Hog Lick Corners last Friday night to purchase some farm fresh onions at the Farmers Market and listen to some live bluegrass music in the park.


At the market, a woman came up to me, selling these buttons. I purchased one. I noticed that many people were acting like she didn't even exist. Much easier that way, I guess.


I even overheard one guy, staffing the Mountain Rebels Tea Party booth say to his neanderthal buddy, "Serves her right for being deaf. Maybe she should have thought of that before she was born!" WTF?


Wouldn't it be great if this lady made $23 million selling her humble creations and clowns at JP Morgan Chase had to sell @#%&ing buttons to eek out an existence?

Just sayin'.


Saturday, May 26, 2012

EDUCATIONAL 'TOOL' FOR THE MONTH OF MAY

(CNN) - Mitt Romney, who is spending this week promoting a plan for America’s public school system, spent Thursday morning defending his stance that smaller class sizes don’t necessarily equate with better learning in schools.
Romney participated in an education roundtable at a charter school in Philadelphia the day after laying out his education plan to Latino small business owners in Washington. Romney’s plan emphasizes school choice over other factors, including efforts to reduce the number of students in classrooms.
Speaking of his time as governor of Massachusetts, Romney said he was frequently told that smaller class sizes would lead to better learning, but that certain studies advised otherwise.
“I came into office and talked to people and said, ‘What can we do to improve our schools?’” Romney said at his Thursday event. “And a number of folks said we need smaller classroom sizes, that will make the biggest difference.”
Romney went on to cite a study that showed no correlation between classroom size and performance, naming schools in Cambridge, Massachusetts as an example.

Yep, sounds like the non-educator Mittster has it all figured out!

Friday, May 4, 2012

TEACHING THE SMARTEST KIDS IN THE WORLD

I am constantly amazed at what they can do, if they really put their little minds to it.

While cleaning up after a rather boisterous session with my 9th graders, I came upon the remains of one of our coping saws. It was embedded in a pile of wet clay. As everyone knows, a coping saw is often used to cut clay. Well, at least in my classroom.

But something was amiss with this saw. The handle seemed to be a tad truncated. And, low and behold, I discovered that one of my geniuses decided to saw the handle in half! Of course, this child cannot be held responsible. Not his or her fault. What else are they going to do when confronted with a perfectly whole coping saw? Why, take another saw and cut off the handle, of course.

Morons.

Monday, April 9, 2012

PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT IS SO IMPORTANT


Those of us in education always appreciate it when the parents are involved with their children's progress in school.

One of my 'superstars' handed me a Camp Nickleby Progress Report form last week to fill out! I was very surprised, and at the same time, somewhat encouraged. This young lad is part of my "What's For Breakfast" club. Five of them sit together at one table and start each day with a large Monster energy drink, accompanied by a bag of Cheetos or some other culinary delight. Each kid currently has a class average hovering around 23%! Any hope of finishing the semester with a passing grade at this time h
as vanished.

I looked at the Progress Report and asked him if his parents are having him fill this out each week because they are finally concerned with his grade in my class. "No, they don't really give a @#$& about my grades. It's for my coach!"

Teaching is so rewarding!



Wednesday, March 28, 2012

WHEN SKITTLES ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE SKITTLES


I'm getting sick and tired of the librul, lamestream media constantly saying that Trayvon Martin was an 'innocent' teenager. My God people, this kid was ARMED with a bag of Skittles. Harmless? I think not! Patriot George Zimmerman is lucky to be alive!

And don't even get me started on what damage a can of Arizona Ice Tea hurled at some Neighborhood Watch Generalissimo's melon would do!

You betcha!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

THREE WRIGHTS MAKE A WRONG


Today in my 3-D Design class, we discussed the work of iconic American architect, Frank Lloyd Wright. Of course, I checked to see what prior knowledge the little ones had of Mr. Wright. One kid finally piped up and said, "Didn't he help invent the first airplane?"
The future of America, ladies and gentleman. New Zealand is looking better and better every day.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Occupy Education: Teachers, Students Resist School Closings, Privatizations, Layoffs and Rankings

Occupy Education: Teachers, Students Resist School Closings, Privatizations, Layoffs and Rankings

Heard this on the radio this morning as I was getting ready to head over to Camp to teach the youngins.

Looks like the magic of NCLB if finally working as designed. The Business Roundtable, ALEC and the lunatic wingnuts are soiling themselves in glee! Their wish to close public schools and privatize education (not sure how-in-the-hell that's suppose to work) is fast becoming a reality.

One of the many things that struck me in this report on school 'reform', high-stakes testing, and teacher evaluations based on the results of these tests, is nobody mentioned the glaring fact that students DON'T GIVE A RAT'S #%& about the outcomes of these tests. They have ABSOLUTELY NO BUY-IN! Test scores do not affect their GPA, their chance of graduation or college admissions. THEY MEASURE NOTHING! THIS HAS BEEN PROVEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Just once I'd like to hear somebody mention that. Fat chance.

CLOSE ALL THE SCHOOLS DOWN AND LET THE YOUNGINS RUN FREE!!! IT WILL BE MAGICAL.

Monday, February 20, 2012

EDUCATIONAL 'TOOL' FOR FEBRUARY


Well, we almost got to the end of February without finding our Education 'Tool' for the month. Luckily, Rick Santorum came to the rescue. Great article I found today at Crooks and Liars.

http://crooksandliars.com/blue-texan/rick-santorum-flunks-basic-history-agai


Thanks Rick for all of your help. I really hope this guy gets the Republican nomination.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

GEOLOGICAL HUSBANDRY 101


Our new science teacher, Munthelda Münchausen, looked a bit distraught in the faculty lounge at lunch today. In fact, she was displaying an obvious facial tic that I hadn’t noticed before. I asked her if everything was OK. She told me that Billy Ray Throdd, a 9th grader in her earth science class, asked her how to tell if a rock is a male or a female!* Taken aback by the young lad’s question, she asked him how he ever got the idea that rocks have gender. Billy Ray replied, innocently enough, “Well Ms. Münchausen, then where do pebbles come from?”

Feeling the blood actually draining from her skull and unable to offer young Billy Ray a reasonable answer that even he could understand, she unfortunately
heard the words ‘you friggin’ hillbilly moron’ spew from her mouth.

Her appointment with Human Resources is scheduled for next Tuesday.

*Based on a true story. The names were changed to protect the innocent. Or, like, whatever.


MORE FUZZY MATH

For some reason, many of my young scholars choose to use my art classes as ‘study’ halls, where they can work on assignments from other, ‘real’ classes, text their friends from the secretive confines of their backpacks strategically placed in front of them on the table, or just sit there and drool into their left shoe for fifty minutes each day.

Yesterday, I overheard two math geniuses discussing their
homework. One of the Einsteins asked another, “What is eight times nine?” His multiplication-challenged friend answered, perfectly sincere, “Forty-five!” I wasn’t really sure if that is what I heard, so I asked them to repeat themselves. Yep, they were both happy with the answer, and Einstein number one dutifully placed the answer into his worksheet.

Both of these mathematicians have passed the High School Exit Exam and are ready to be unleashed on an unsuspecting American public in June.

Wow, just . . . wow!

Friday, February 3, 2012

TAILS OF RETAIL FAILS #815


Went into theSpawn of Satan (WalMart) down in Hog Lick Corners a few days ago to pick up some supplies for the classroom. After making my way through the hordes of ‘interestingly dressed’ customers, I found what I needed and placed them in my handy shopping basket. For some reason, I wandered into the electronics department. They had micro-SD cards for sale. 8GB for $14.88. I needed one for my digital recorder, so I placed one in the handy shopping basket too. It was, of course, locked up in a plastic security box. When I got to check out, the clerk attempted to free the SD card from the security box. No luck. She called a co-worker to try her luck. She was not successful either. I let them try every conceivable tool at their disposal (BIC pen, nail file, screwdriver, etc.) to get the card out. Nothing. After ten minutes of this nonsense, I decided I really didn’t need that SD card after all and told them, “Have a nice day!”

ALEC Education "Academy" Launches on Island Resort | Truthout

THIS IS JUST A TAD SCARY, NO?

ALEC Education "Academy" Launches on Island Resort Truthout

MY FAVORITE PART . . . ALEC's education bills encompass more than 20 years of effort to privatize public education through an ever-expanding network of school voucher systems, which divert taxpayer dollars away from public schools to private schools, or the creation of new private charter schools with public funds, and even with private online schools (who needs actual teachers when you can have a virtual one?). The bills also allow schools to loosen standards for teachers and administrators, exclude students with physical disabilities and special educational needs, escape the requirements of collective bargaining agreements and experiment with other pet causes like merit pay, single-sex education, school uniforms, and political and religious indoctrination of students.