Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Rudy, say it ain't so!

It truly is a sad day at Camp Nickleby. The flag in front of Spellings Hall today is flying at half staff. America’s Mayor Rudy Giuliani decided to drop out of the race for the Republican nomination for president. We here at the camp DID NOT see this coming! Apparently, the Republican voters of Florida no longer care about keeping our country safe from Islamic terrorists and people who send ‘suspicious’ emails to their friends. Luckily, we still have ex-POW John McCain in the race. We all think he’ll make a great president some day. He likes to refer to everybody as ‘his friends’ and he has that wonderful, asymmetrical quality about him. It just makes you feel good, deep down inside.

We are also lamenting John Edwards’ decision to bail out of his burning plane before it hit the ground. We will miss the constant references to ‘$400 haircuts’ on our favorite news channel, FOX.

In other camp news, the youngsters are getting ready to take the CAHSEE test next week. Our 12th graders are studying hard. After six attempts at passing, they know this is it before graduation in June. No pass, no diploma! If only their teachers bothered to teach them early in their high school career! Apparently, these teachers were more interested in union meetings, their new teaching contract and furthering their godless, liberal agendas. To help our student succeed, we are offering test-taking workshops before the test. Today’s workshop is entitled, “The No. 2 pencil, friend or foe?” Attendance should be SRO!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Last night, after all of the children were fed, we all went into Spellings Hall to watch the president's speech. With much anticipation, we were waiting to see what He would say about NCLB. Just as a precaution, we figured we needed some help getting through the thing. Since it was going to be at least an hour long, we needed some fortification. We figured a gallon of Gallo Hearty Burgundy passed around between the four of us would do the trick. We were wrong. Way wrong. The SOTU turned out to be at least a four-gallon speech.

We waited and waited, and finally W dropped the bomb. He managed to work in school vouchers into his speech. For those of you out there who still don't know, school vouchers and the dismantling of public education is the driving force behind NCLB. Incredulously, the talking heads on the news still spoke of NCLB as school reform. We all laughed. Then we all got the dry heaves. It was quite a night!