Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Si se puede, my tuckus!



Well, our new ‘education president’ (oh gawd, not another one) let us all know what is on his mind concerning public schools in the U.S. Apparently, he too is an adherent to the ‘dry sponge theory’ of education. Once again, the Blame the Teachers First crowd is front and center. We are again told we just aren’t doing enough to help those poor little children in our classrooms. As teachers, we should be able to negate all of the outside forces that affect our students’ ability to learn. I wonder when the last time Mr. Obama visited a public school classroom. Remember, his little princesses go to a fancy-shmansy private school! I invite Mr. Obama to visit Camp Nickleby sometime in the near future. Come into my classroom! Perhaps he will get a real feel for what it’s like to teach regular kids, the spawn of our democratic society.

Perhaps Mr. Obama would enjoy . . .

watching Duane Willy Culbertson sleeping once again through class because he was up until 2:15 in the morning, helping his Pa overhaul the 1967 Massey-Ferguson so they can get the plantin’ in before Spring.

watching Ty-Shaniqua-Shanaynay text message her little friends with her iPod firmly positioned under her desk, as if I don’t know what she’s doing.

watching little Heather Marie Munssengberger, leader of the C.N. cheerleading squad, attempt to freshen up her makeup during class instead of doing her assigned reading.

watching Jose Alonzo Umberto Fernandez and Fidel Guadalupe Alcantar Garcia fill the tempera paint jars with wet plaster of Paris, hence rendering $55 worth of school supplies totally worthless.

watching emo-boy Cosmo Jupiter Stardust, once again overcome with ennui, carve his girlfriend’s name into his forearm with the sharpened cap from a BIC pen.

watching little Tondaleo Marfan ask, for the umpteenth time, to run to the restroom during class time.

And somehow I’m expected to magically turn these little darlins’ into brilliant, productive, mindless automatons ready to be devoured by Corporate America!

And so what if Korean kids are ahead of ours? Yeah, better test scores because they are in school longer. But have you ever driven in a KIA??? Or a Hyundai??? I rented a Sedona once, and I counted 14 things falling off in the first 30 miles!

It’s all such a load!

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