WHY IS MY PAYCHECK LESS THIS MONTH?

I figured, “Hey, why try to re-invent the wheel, right?” I came across this on Huffington Post yesterday. It is basically the snarky, smart-ass essay I’ve had in rough-draft form for about eight months now. Well played, Mr. Danzinger!

I AM SHOCKED, I TELL YOU, JUST SHOCKED!

This came from the NEA Morning Update thing

Study Shows Merit Pay In Texas Did Not Boost Student Achievement.

The Dallas Morning News (11/4, Stutz) reports that "for the $300 million spent on merit pay for teachers over the last three years, Texas was hoping for a big boost in student achievement. But it didn't happen with the now-defunct" Texas Educator Excellence Grant (TEEG), "according to experts hired by the state." Researchers from Texas A&M University, Vanderbilt University, and the University of Missouri studied "flaws in the way the program was designed and did not conclude whether merit pay for teachers in general is a good idea." However, they did say, "There is no systematic evidence that TEEG had an impact on student achievement gains" in Texas. The Dallas Morning News notes that TEEG, "which provided incentive pay for teachers at about 1,000 campuses a year in lower-income neighborhoods, was discontinued by the Legislature after the 2008-09 school year because of design problems."

IF THEY WANT TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT PUNISHING TEACHERS FOR THE DISMAL SCORES OF THEIR STUDENTS, WHO DON'T REALLY GIVE A RIP ABOUT THE TESTS, THEN IT IS TIME TO TIE TEST SCORES WITH THE LITTLE DARLINS' GPA AND GRADUATION REQUIREMENTS! PERIOD! THIS, OF COURSE, WILL NEVER HAPPEN!

WE WILL MISS YOU, MR. BUFFALO

Damn! Norton Buffalo is gone! We here at the Camp are grieving again! Buffalo was just such a killer harmonica player and musician. I have a bunch of stuff of his on VINYL!!! And it's still PLAYABLE!!! Got one on the turntable now, sipping on a glass of 2006 Sebastiani Zinfandel to pay my respects. I grabbed this from the sonomanews.com.

Sonoma Valley lost one of its favorite sons on Friday, Oct. 30, when music legend and harmonica virtuoso Norton Buffalo passed away after a brief bout with cancer. According to Michael Hinton, a friend and music associate since 1973, Buffalo was surrounded by family and friends when he slipped into a coma and passed away, with his wife, Lisa Flores, by his side.

Born in Oakland on Sept. 28, 1951, Buffalo spent a good portion of his life living in Sonoma Valley, where he wrote and recorded his first album for Capitol Records in the mid-1970s, "Loving in the Valley of the Moon." Buffalo was a music legend in Sonoma Valley and in the world beyond, spending 32 years as the harmonica player for the Steve Miller Band, his own band, the Knockouts, and with a wide range of musicians, including Roy Rogers, Bonnie Raitt, members of the Grateful Dead, Doobie Brothers and Commander Cody and his Lost Planet Airmen. Buffalo also acted and was the harmonica player for Bette Midler in the film "The Rose."



NORTON BUFFALO, Rest in Peace!

MAY I HAVE A SIDE OF COLD SLAW WITH THAT, PLEASE?

WE LIKE SRIMP. WE LIKE CAJUN SRIMP, FRIED SRIMP, BARBEQUED SRIMP . . .

The staff here at Camp Nickleby always wonders what happens to our graduates. Well, we now know where last year’s valedictorian ended up. Bethalynda Gurd, Class of 2009, managed to get hired on at the local purveyor of breaded and fried protein down in Hog Lick Corners. And of course, being one of Camp Nickleby’s exemplary spellers, she was immediately put in charge of the reader board outside of the ‘restaurant’. As you can see, she has a rather intuitive approach to spelling. Also notice the inventive use of the number 7 and giving double duty to the letter ‘W’. Most people would not have those important outside-of-the-box problem-solving skills so important with American businesses today.

Good on ya, Bethalynda! We are so proud of you!

SO LONG SOUPY SALES

We heard that Soupy Sales died last Thursday. The Camp is in mourning. When I was a kid, I don't think I missed one of his shows! I ran home from school everyday and plopped myself in front of the TV. Couldn't wait to see what White Fang was going to do on any given day. Soupy, and for that matter, The Three Stooges, made me the person I am today!

MEET OUR NEW YOGA AND PILATES INSTRUCTOR!

Superintendent Kim Chee has been ragging on many of our staff members recently, claiming that we are out of shape. The nerve! She says we need to lose some weight and look more ‘professional’. WTF? To achieve her goal, she thought it would be a good idea to hire a staff Yoga and Pilates instructor. Yippee! Meet Duane ‘Moondawg’ Thudwiemer, our new Yoga and Pilates teacher. In addition to trying to get our counseling staff in shape, Duane will also be teaching classes in our P.E. department. We wish him luck.

To better introduce Duane to our loyal readers, here is a video of one of his yoga sessions, which he supplied to the interviewing committee last month. Please notice that Duane utilizes many of the classic yoga poses while attempting to purchase a large quantity of brewed adult beverage. Duane starts his routine with the Adho Mukha Svanasana or Downward Facing Dog, and then seamlessly flows into the Bhujangasana or Cobra. Next, watch as Duane utilizes the Uttanasana II or Forward Bend, then immediately segues into a perfectly-executed Trikonasana or Triangle pose. To culminate this perfect routine, Duane executes what could possibly be his finest move, the Savasana or Corpse pose.

Duane is a product of one of those new Teaching Credential mills we’ve been reading about. His training lasted a total of five weeks! We are expecting great thing from him. And no, we have no idea why his nickname is Moondawg!

TEST-TAKING TIPS FROM THE BRANIACS

I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m a used-book-store junkie (but in a good way). I like the smell of musty books, I like the fringe clientele, and of course I like the decaying ambiance. My latest find is, To Open Minds, by multiple-intelligences guru Howard Gardner. The subtitle, Chinese Clues to the Dilemma of Contemporary Education, reeled me in and shuttled me to the bookstore cashier. Although written 20 years ago, Gardner discusses the same school reform crap that we are going through now, only the names are different. I’m sure Arne, Newt and Al all have a dog-eared copy of this book on their nightstands. As I was perusing through the pages, I came upon this passage concerning test-taking, with a little bonus by William F. Buckley, thrown in for good measure.

Always a good test taker in school, I had found the Stevens Battery easy enough. My test-taking prowess was to continue when I took standardized tests in high school and college: I had whatever knack it takes to pick out the best answer from a set of four or five. The columnist William F. Buckley has aptly indicated that his own skill at such tests involved not figuring out the correct answer in any absolute sense, but rather figuring out “which was the answer the examiners probably desired me to give.” According to my own analysis, test taking assesses chiefly linguistic and logical intelligence, with some bonus points for speed, flexibility, and superficiality.