Got My Kicks

Greetings from summer vacation. I just got back from a week in Arizona. My ladyfriend and I did the Route 66 thing and drove some of the old, blistering asphalt through Barstow, Needles, Kingman and eventually set up base camp for several days in Flagstaff. We did forget about Winona, but I got a chance to stand on the corner in Winslow, Arizona!

How to Save Money on Science Textbooks

Never having seen the Grand Canyon before, a side trip was a must for me. The many photos I’ve seen do not, in any way, do it justice. While perusing the official, U.S. Government-sanctioned gift shop, I came upon an amazing book, entitled The Grand Canyon, A Different Perspective, a compilation of writings by various scientists and other experts. I thumbed through it and quickly realized that everything I learned during my tax-supported public school education about how the Grand Canyon was formed was wrong. Instead of being the product of millions of years of erosion created by the Colorado River, this book explains that the Canyon was actually the result of Noah’s Great Flood, described in Genesis. Instead of millions of years old, the Canyon is actually less than 6,000 years old! All of those years I had been lied to by my teachers, who were bent on spreading their godless/liberal/communist/homosexual agendas! I feel so betrayed. And dirty. The book was written and compiled by a canyon river guide, who came to Christ after years of drunken debauchery (where have I heard this story before?)

I sat down with the book and started reading. The book explains in great detail the overwhelming evidence that proves its theory. Interestingly, it never bothers to question the whole flood story. Apparently the writers of this book, along with most fundamentalists, are comfortable worshipping a deity who punishes a few people who piss him off by also drowning innocent babies and small children. I know that some four-month-olds can be a pain in the ass, but the whole drowning everybody thing seems to be going a bit far. Apparently the God of the Old Testament really should have entered an anger management program! The guy was just out of control! I think it’s time for somebody to put the FUN back into fundamentalism.

Another NCLB Casualty

After visiting numerous Route 66 sites and way too many souvenir shops, we decided to make another visit to the Canyon, but this time by train. Being a bit of a ‘foamer’, I was greatly disappointed that their steam engine was in the shop that day. Apparently, it needed new wheel bearings. Where do you find wheel bearings for a 90-year-old steam locomotive, Kragen? While suffering through well-meaning singing cowboys and ‘indigenous peoples’ entertaining passengers during the two-hour train ride, we met a teacher from Flagstaff. We struck up a conversation, and she mentioned that she was a 5^th grade teacher, but that was soon coming to an end. After seventeen years of teaching, she was packing it in, pulling up stakes and she and her husband were moving to Bogotá, Columbia, where she would resume her teaching career. She seemed to be a very dedicated teacher, and I’m sure her students will miss her, but she finally reached her limit. She just got tired of all of the NCLB b.s. and ineffectual administrators she had to deal with on a daily basis. Teaching in the United States was no longer a joy for her. NCLB continues to work its special magic.