But, I did all the work . . .

Well, the report cards have hit home, and much wailing and gnashing of teeth continues. My e-mail is filled with missives from the wee ones, wondering why their grade isn’t what it should be. After all, they did all the work! Somewhere in their educational careers, they learned that just turning something, anything in, garners them a good grade. Mmmmmm, not so much.

At the end of the school year, I was amazed at some of the really dumb questions I was being asked, many of these concerned procedural stuff that somehow they were able to filter out from their hearing. Even after numerous repetition and reminders, they still didn’t know what was expected of them. I came to the conclusion that they don’t read and they only hear every fifth word that I said! This couldn’t possibly be true.

And yet my theory has been proven. A recent study by the Make Teachers Do Good Institute in Washington, D.C. proves that students actually only are capable of hearing every fifth word. All the rest of the words are totally wasted. They never enter their little melons. Dr. Arnold R. Ziffle, head of the institute, studied approximately 4,500 high schools students in twenty-five states. This four-month long study concluded that the minds of high school students become overloaded with too much information. Their brains, as a function of self-preservation, filter out approximately 75% of the input that we try to pump into them.

The studies finding have been compiled into a new book, Only Every Five, written by Dr. Ziffle. The book also contains a foreword by educational guru Robert Marzano and can be found at Amazon.com for $24.95. It also comes with a software program on CD that teachers may use to edit down their lectures and handouts to a more manageable size. I decided to try this program, so just for the hell of it, I filtered the Gettysburg Address through it, and this is what I got. I can’t wait to start using this in the fall.

Four years brought continent, conceived, dedicated that created are great whether and long met battlefield. We dedicate that final those their nation is proper do a can, can, can ground. Living struggled it, poor or will long say can they is living. Dedicated unfinished who thus advanced. For here great us honored increased cause gave measure we that not vain under a freedom of the people from.