ONE WEEK DOWN, SO MANY MORE TO GO . . .

Well, we’re into week number two of a new school year here at Camp Nickleby. The hills are alive with the sounds of the little dry sponges. All are eager to soak up as much knowledge as possible! Yeah, right. It will take some time for all of us to get back into the groove.

A week before camp started, the counseling staff was here, getting ready for the new year. We worked on vision and mission statements (no, serious), got our rooms ready, and sat through a lecture by Superintendent Kim Chee, berating us for not being better teachers. “All of you are sooooo lazy,” she screamed. “I get here everyday at 5:30 a.m. and stay until 8:00 p.m.! If you were really serious about teaching, you would do the same, instead of taking off at 4:00 to get back to your cabins and nap. I could replace you all with those fine young people from Teach For America! How are we going to close the cheese mint gap?” Just made you feel all warm and fuzzy.

A HARD RAIN’S GONNA FALL
Dr. Chee let us know that she wants to tie our pay with student performance, starting this year. Since we are a non-union charter school, we just have to bend over and take it. Not sure how this will affect me. Do I not get a raise if my kiddies can’t make a decent pinch pot? If they can’t mix the color orange? Do I depend on our math and English counselors to raise the test scores? Can’t wait! This Race To The Top crap is really getting to be a pain in the arse!

API SCORE COMES CRASHING DOWN
Speaking of test scores, we received our state API scores from last spring, and it doesn’t look good. Chee really went through the roof! After several years of scores creeping upward, they came crashing down again. We lost about 47 points from last year! A large number of math scores were uncharacteristically low. Apparently, a substitute teacher during math testing allowed the kids to talk her into letting them use crayons to fill in the answer sheets! Of course, there was the usual number of math wizards who turned the answer sheets into connect-the-dots and made bunnies and hearts, which didn’t help either. To compound the problem, the error was not discovered at the ETS scoring facility in Sacramento until it was too late. The oily crayon residue gummed up the scoring machines and altered other schools’ test results, including our cross-mountain rival, Cruz Bustamante Preparatory Academy Strip Mall Charter High School. We’re still waiting for the other shoe to drop on this one.

CHA-CHA-CHA CHIA POTUS
The first project of the year always sets the tone for the rest of the year. This year, we’ll be making Chia Pet Heads of members of the Obama administration! All the kids seem to be quite excited about this project and can’t wait to get started. Each kid picked a member of the administration to model. No two alike. Unfortunately, three boys wanted to do White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel heads, and I had to intervene. Not really sure what this means, but I think it will be a good project.

And that’s the news from Camp Nickleby, where every youngster enjoys the great outdoors, clean fresh air, daily mountain hikes and NO CHILD'S LEFT BEHIND!