Call me a whambulance ! ! !

Can't believe the summer is almost over! Staff is back at Camp, writing Vision Statements and Mission Statements. Oh dear God!

GOING UP TO YASGUR’S FARM

It’s hard to believe that the 40^th anniversary of Woodstock is upon us! Where did the time go? For two of our Camp Nickleby staffers, the Woodstock Music and Art Fair, as it was originally called, has a very special place in their hearts. Maurice and Charmaine Thibodaux were actually there, rolling around nekkid in the mud at Yasgur’s farm. As some of our loyal readers may recall, Maurice works as our maintenance man, but insists on being referred to as our ‘Viceroy of Camp Operations’. Charmaine works as our cook in the cafeteria, but she constantly refers to her work in the ‘film industry’, in her younger days. Both came to us from New Orleans after losing their house and all of their belongings during Hurricane Katrina.

These two crazy kids actually met at Woodstock. In 1969, both were recent graduates of Tulane University, but never ‘hooked up’ during college. Maurice earned a B.S. degree in chemical ‘engineering’, and Charmaine received a B.F.A. in interpretive dance (every father’s nightmare). When they heard about this music and art festival happening up in New York State, each of them decided to head north. Maurice packed his 1967 green and white VW microbus with a sleeping bag, a box of granola, half a case of Mateus Rosé, some weed and a couple of bongs, and headed north on a hot, muggy Louisiana morning in August of 1969. Charmaine decided to ‘borrow’ her brother’s aging Citroën deux chevaux and hit the road too. Packed with a cooler filled with organic bean sprouts, a loaf of wheat bread, several tie-dyed blouses, and her four-stringed dulcimer, she was ready for the adventure of a lifetime.

Their meeting at Woodstock was the proverbial case of love at first sight! It was, one would call, a whirlwind romance. Both being devout Catholics, they eschewed any type of birth control (and also because they were both #@&%ed up on windowpane acid) their love was consummated on the rotting remnants of Yasgur’s beet crop. Little Muffaletta Zydeco Thibodaux was conceived on August 15, 1969, at approximately 5:37 in the afternoon! Unfortunately, right after the climactic moment occurred, Maurice’s left foot was accidentally run over by Max Yasgur’s grandson, Skippy, taking a joy ride on his grandpa’s vintage 1957 Massey-Ferguson. Little Skippy was apparently suffering from a contact high and didn't see Maurice down on the ground in his Coleman sleeping bag. Maurice shrugged off the injury, but still walks with a slight limp. With that limp, he is constantly reminded of that special day 40 years ago. And little Muffaletta? Well she grew into a fine young woman, went to law school at Tulane and became a civil rights attorney and community organizer in Atlanta, Georgia. She is now currently an attorney, working with ACORN.

I asked Maurice what he remembers about the Woodstock experience. He said, “Not much, man. I was pretty stoned most of the time. But it took a long time to get Ritchie Haven’s music out of my head. Man, the dude played for two hours straight and he only knew one, friggin’ chord!”

While going through some old papers, I came upon this aging advertisement in Ramparts Magazine for an unassuming art and music festival in the summer of ’69. CHECK OUT THOSE PRICES!!!

A WEEKEND FOUND TREASURE!

As I was cleaning up the art studio today at Camp Nickleby, getting ready for the start of another glorious, standards-based school year, I came across this lovely missive, hiding under the overhead project. It was accompanied by an empty box of gum, several broken drawing pencils, some used mucous management tissues (yuk) and seventeen cents in change! Wonderful penmanship and spelling skills too!

It's going to be a good year!

I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!

I think I deserve a big refund! I spent a lot of money and a lot of time, back in the day, learning a bunch of librul, teacher mumbo-jumbo, going through hoops and hurdles, to get a teaching credential. If I waited thirty years until the dumbing down of America was in full swing, I could have saved myself a load of money and time and just spend less than a buck for a teaching certificate! What a maroon!

In the July 31, 2009 issue of The Washington Post, an article explained these new-fangled ways to become a teacher in NCLB America. Heck, you don’t even need none of them there fancy how-to-teach classes. Just pays your money and sit in a chair for a few weeks and, presto, you’re a teacher! You can even do it from home, on-line! Ain’t that great! It just gets better and better, don’t it?

Here are some of the more memorable moments culled from the article:

Many reformers say a fast track is the best way to capture potential teachers. "If you get rid of the hoops and hurdles, you can get some fantastic people to come into teaching," said Michael J. Petrilli, vice president at the Thomas B. Fordham Institute, a District-based education think tank. (Problem is, they don’t stay)

Some initiatives seek to avoid traditional education school curricula (mumbo-jumbo) completely. The American Board for Certification of Teacher Excellence approves teachers in nine states through online training and tests. In the District and in Maryland, the New Teacher Project has authority to certify its teachers with a practical, year-long seminar series led by D.C. public school teachers. (Year-long!??? Think of how much partying time I lost while studying teacher edgumacation in collitch!)

Linda Darling-Hammond, an education professor at Stanford University, said accelerated training programs that put teachers in charge of classes right away can lead to higher burnout rates because teachers become quickly overwhelmed. Her research shows that teachers with more comprehensive training are less likely to leave within a few years.

Until a few years ago, many positions, particularly in urban schools, were filled by teachers with emergency credentials. The 2002 No Child Left Behind law outlawed the practice, and alternative programs sprouted up to give under-prepared teachers a clear path through state-required coursework. (but, but, I thought we all had to be highly-qualified!)

But here’s my favorite . . .

Career-changers are considered desirable because they bring maturity and outside experiences into classrooms. They also help solve a perennial problem in public education, particularly in math and science: Too few teachers have a solid grasp of the subject they teach. (This, ladies and gentlemen, is just some damn fine journalism! WTF? According to whom? Did the writer pull this out of a monkey’s butt? Oh yeah, she probably did!)

I had an appointment with a new doctor last Thursday. I asked him where he went to school for his medical training. He told me he attended Big Bob’s School of Doctorin’ in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Took him seven months and only cost him $485. I got the hell out of there fast!

EDUCATIONAL 'TOOL' OF THE MONTH

Governor Mitch Daniels of Indiana

As the Bushobama Department of Education’s anti-public school juggernaut continues careening down the hill, it is always comforting to know that there are folks in high places who really care about teachers and public education. Ironically, they are usually people who have never taught in a school!

Most recently, Governor Mitch Daniels of Indiana knows what’s best for schools and teacher education. Thanks Mitch, for setting us straight on this issue! Let’s hear what Mitch has to say on the subject, shall we?

“Arne Duncan could not be superintendent or principal in Indiana,” Daniels said of Obama’s education chief and former superintendent of Chicago schools. “He doesn’t have the right credentials.” The governor enunciated “credentials.”

Asked about how the Ball State University teachers college will have to adapt, Daniels explained, “When the Professional Licensing Board begins starting next week to redefine what is required to get a teaching license in Indiana, the schools of education are going to have to make some major changes of their own. They are not going to need as many people teaching what to me is mumbo jumbo. We’re going to expect students who want to teach spending much more of their time studying the subject they are going to be teaching in the schools.”

MUMBO JUMBO? WTF???

As I recall, I spent a lot of money, back in the day, to learn a lot of MUMBO JUMBO so I could get a teaching job? I FEEL SO DIRTY.

EDUCATIONAL TOOL OF THE MONTH is a copyrighted feature of campnickleby.blogspot.com. Thank you very much!

Fruitstand Signs as an English Lesson

During the summer months, the Valley is flooded with fresh fruit and veggies. Roadside stands pop up, seemingly, on every corner. And with those stands come hand-made signs to attract potential buyers. Unfortunately, many of the sign makers apparently are products of the public education system in the United States. Surely students of private schools would have better spelling skills than this. Are could they be home-schooled? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . .

If I am only able to teach the kiddies just one thing, JUST ONE THING, I hope it is how to create the plural form of a word. I don't think it is that tough!!!

Hey, they got one correct, although that "W" in GROWN is a tad bit suspicious!


And then there is this one.
Hey, you make plum plural by adding an 'S', why not peach, right?

Here's a little poem about plurals I found when I used "The Google"

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

A SUMMER FOUND TREASURE

What do some high school students and a certain, bouncy, right-wing radio personality have in common?

I went in to Camp today to work a bit in my classroom and start to get things cleaned up for the new school year. While going through some boxes of student work from several years ago, I came upon this lovely treasure in a young lady’s pile of drawings.

I do appreciate the fact that this student did attempt to use her 'word attack skills' in figuring out how to spell Vicodin. She did get close. Hooked on phonics, perhaps? These are some of the little treasures that make teaching such a rewarding experience. Gee, I wonder how Vicodin usage affects test scores??? And for those who don’t know about Vicodin . . . here is a bit of information from Wiki.

Vicodin is a potentially addictive drug, specifically due to the hydrocodone in it. People who are using Vicodin for non-medicinal purposes (the above students) are typically using it to get the euphoric effects sometimes associated with it. Ten percent of American high school seniors have abused Vicodin; 4.7 percent report abusing Oxycontin in the past year.