ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END, I GUESS

It is with great sadness that I learned of the passing of www.rateyourstudents.blogspot.com, probably one of the funniest blogs dealing with that wonderful profession known as teaching. Although most of the contributors were college instructors and professors, those of us in the high school realm could often times commiserate with what was being put forth. I sure know I could. Stupidity knows no age barriers. It's everywhere.

I'm gonna miss you, rateyourstudents!

Disrespecting Our Beloved Corporations

Disrespecting Our Beloved Corporations

EDUCATIONAL TOOL FOR THE MONTH OF JULY

Is there an award for propaganda, similar to the Emmy, the Tony or the Oscar? If so, I think I’ve found this year’s winner, hands down! I received in the mail this past week a brochure from conservative California Assemblywoman Connie Conway. Camp Nickleby exists within the borders of her 34th district. Conway’s brochure deals with, every conservative’s favorite subject, the dismantling of public education.

The brochure contains the usual lunatic, wingnut talking points against those evil, public school teachers and their unions. A questionnaire within asks the reader his or her views on the usual, conservative screeds: student achievement as part of teacher evaluation (check), support of bilingual education (check), lifting the cap on the number of charter schools (check), merit pay for teachers (check) and increasing career technical education (check). This last one, I actually agree with. NOT EVERY KID NEEDS TO GO TO COLLEGE! But I digress . . .

In this slickly-produced brochure, we also learn that the only thing keeping California school children from learning effectively are ‘SPECIAL INTERESTS’! However, nowhere in the brochure do we discover who or what these special interests are, but I think they’re talking about UNIONS! Just my guess.

As an eye-catching visual, a photo of a freshly-scrubbed young woman (presumably a new teacher) is standing with her ‘students’. She is dressed conservatively in something she purchased at weareamish.com or perhaps WalMart. The ‘school’ behind her looks like it was just built, clean, and of course, painted white! Her little third-graders carefully represent every ethnic and perhaps religious belief. Oh wait, I don’t see an Islamic kid. Maybe the little blonde girl converted? The real kicker on this photo is that, while perusing my email yesterday, I clicked on BE A TEACHER and low and behold, there our WASPY young lady was again. This time advertising for an online, YOU TOO CAN BE A TEACHER IN JUST FOUR SHORT WEEKS website. Yeah, I want my kids’ teachers being trained on the Internet! WTF?

Well, I dutifully filled out the questionnaire, complete with snarky comments in the margins, including an invitation to Assemblywoman Conway to visit my classroom when camp resumes in August. I await her reply.

END OF THE SEASON OF THE KVETCH!

Well, week four into summer vacation is just about over, but it feels sooooooo good! We managed to make it through another year at Camp Nickleby, with the usually amount of year-end kvetching by seniors and parents of seniors. This year, I had a rather large amount of parents coming in, a few days before graduation, wondering why their precious little progeny was flunking an art class, and might not be able to graduate from high school. I explained to mummy that precious flower DIDN’T DO A @#%&ING THING all semester. Of course, precious flower expected to receive a passing grade, using the default reason in matters such as these, “But, I did all my work!” That fact that ‘the work’ was total crap didn’t seem to enter the equation for precious flower. Of course, I buckled and handed out my usual number of Christian-charity D-‘s.

This year, I bought a new addition to my computerized grading program. Most of the little people don’t quite understand the concept of computerized grading. The assume (never a good idea) that when they turn in a project or assignment, sometimes actually on time, that it immediately is reflected on the grade report. I explain to them, once again, that, “no precious flower, I have to somehow find the time to plug it into the computer.

I could see that, three weeks from the end of the semester, a large percentage of the kiddles still didn’t understand what was going on. Seniors who somehow thought they would automatically graduate from high school because they were ‘too gosh darned cute’, probably weren’t unless they started turning stuff in. It was time to use my new weapon against teenage sloth. I activated the FEAR OF GOD feature on my grading system. This feature shows the youngin’, instantly, what their final grade would look like if they didn’t turn stuff in. OMG, it was hilarious. They were running around like little chickens sans heads! There was crying and wailing and much gnashing of teeth. There were, of course, those unmotivateable darlins’ that could care less, and instead decided to ‘kick back’ for the rest of the semester. All in all, the FEAR OF GOD add-on was well worth the $34.99 I paid for it. Available through amazon.com. Check it out.

The Camp is quiet now. Birds are singing in the trees. Plague-infested squirrels can be seen darting from tree to tree. Maintenance workers are attempting to the vast amount of damage that was inflicted on the camps facilities by the little darlins. Can’t wait for the new school year to start. Oh wait, yes I can. And that’s the news from Camp Nickleby, where every youngster enjoys the great outdoors, clean fresh air and daily mountain hikes, and NO CHILD'S LEFT BEHIND!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY 2010

FRANK ZAPPA on education . . .

Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read. Forget I mentioned it. This song has no message. Rise for the flag salute.

June 27, 1966: Zappa's liner notes for the album Freak Out! *

* This album, probably more than any other, made me the person I am today!

I SUPPOSE IT IS LIKE TRYING TO TURN YOUR GUITAR AMP TO '11'

I am always constantly amazed at the inner workings of the teenage mind. This morning, a couple of young ladies from the Camp Nick student council came by and asked if I had a step stool they could borrow for a few minutes. I gladly pointed to 'Old Widowmaker', the clay studio's recently-purchased, 3-step ladder. They looked at it carefully and told me, "Oh no, we are looking for one that only has two steps!"

I suggested that they use ours, but only use the two bottom steps. They looked at each other, then looked at me as if I was a complete moron! They left, continuing their search for that elusive 2-step ladder. Wow!

A LITTLE SOMETHING TO GET THE WEEKEND OFF TO A GOOD START

Started my day, listening to Democracy Now, as usual. Heard this piece by Juan Gonzalez while diving into my spinach, feta cheese and mushroom omelette at the breakfast table. Yes, I know, it is hard to believe!!!

Big Banks Making a Bundle On New Construction as Schools Bear the Cost

http://www.democracynow.org/2010/5/7/juan_gonzalez_big_banks_making_a