As President Obama’s plan to close GitMo gets closer to becoming a reality, many Americans are wondering where the released detainees are going to end up. Many of them cannot return to their home countries for fear of death. Of course, nobody wants an Islamic terrorist living next to them. A pedophile, maybe, but not a terrorist! Some of the kids got together last week and decided to try and help with the problem.
Fatima al-Oud, president of the Camp Nickleby Multicultural Club, proposed that we ask to house a released enemy combatant. Through a letter-writing campaign aimed at the U.S. Justice Department, the club managed to secure the release of one terrorist housed at Club Gitmo. We figured we could use a new boat house keeper at the lake. He will be here next week!
His name is Abdul Mahmud al-Yerbouti and he comes to us from Mosul, Iraq, where he ran a street-side falafel stand. The 44-year-old al-Yerbouti, a Sunni Muslim (or is he a Shia . . . tomatoes . . . to-mah-toes), was added to the list of possible terrorists on February 26, 2005 when one of his customers, Yusuf Oggi ben-Doggi, a Shia (or Sunni) Muslim, turned him in to the U. S. authorities, claiming he didn’t put enough yoghurt on the guy’s falafel. Oggi ben-Doggi received his $500 reward from the U.S. Military for turning in this vicious terrorist, and al-Yerbouti’s butt was on its way to GitMo the very next day!
After he has had a chance to settle in to his new surroundings, Abdul told us he has an interest in blending in to his new surroundings. Abdul plans to open up a meat market and deli and call it Chuy’s Hallal Carniceria and Hookah Lounge down in Hog Lick Corners. Hopefully, his SBA loan will come through as part of Obama’s stimulus plan, blessing be upon his name!
Fatima al-Oud, president of the Camp Nickleby Multicultural Club, proposed that we ask to house a released enemy combatant. Through a letter-writing campaign aimed at the U.S. Justice Department, the club managed to secure the release of one terrorist housed at Club Gitmo. We figured we could use a new boat house keeper at the lake. He will be here next week!
His name is Abdul Mahmud al-Yerbouti and he comes to us from Mosul, Iraq, where he ran a street-side falafel stand. The 44-year-old al-Yerbouti, a Sunni Muslim (or is he a Shia . . . tomatoes . . . to-mah-toes), was added to the list of possible terrorists on February 26, 2005 when one of his customers, Yusuf Oggi ben-Doggi, a Shia (or Sunni) Muslim, turned him in to the U. S. authorities, claiming he didn’t put enough yoghurt on the guy’s falafel. Oggi ben-Doggi received his $500 reward from the U.S. Military for turning in this vicious terrorist, and al-Yerbouti’s butt was on its way to GitMo the very next day!
After he has had a chance to settle in to his new surroundings, Abdul told us he has an interest in blending in to his new surroundings. Abdul plans to open up a meat market and deli and call it Chuy’s Hallal Carniceria and Hookah Lounge down in Hog Lick Corners. Hopefully, his SBA loan will come through as part of Obama’s stimulus plan, blessing be upon his name!
1 comment:
I'm laughing out loud and sending it on to a few friends. Love the catchy names:-)
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