COULD IT BE 'NONE OF THE ABOVE'?

LIFE IS NOT A MULTIPLE CHOICE TEST!


Yesterday in the art appreciation segment of my show, I was conducting a little review of the kiddies. I, foolishly enough, wanted to see if they remembered anything from what I 'taught' last semester.


I was discussing the Impressionists. We studied, I thought, the Impressionists A LOT!


I asked the little munchkins if they remembered the name of the style which dealt with the painting of light upon a landscape. Anyone, anyone? Finally one brave little snowflake asked, "Mr. Phlegmbaum, could you please put it in A, B, C, D form?" Meaning, they could perhaps have a slight chance of answering the question if they had some choices to pick from.

Yeah, multiple choice tests! They're awesome!

PROUDLY WEARING THEIR RED BADGE OF STOOPID

Honest to God, I think I’m done. I think I’ve had enough! I’m tired of teaching in STOOPIDISTAN!

I don’t mind the stupid kids who know they’re stupid and are willing to improve. Some even ask for help from time-to-time. It’s the stupid ones who are ACTUALLY PROUD THAT THEY ARE STUPID! They spend their time comparing their stupidity with each other.

“What percentage do you have in algebra?” asks one moron to another.

“Dude, I have a 33%!” replies the other moron.

“That’s nothing, bro (they always call each other ‘bro’ or ‘dude’), I currently have a 27%!”

“Dude, that’s awesome. You win!”

And then there’s the pure, destructive power of a class full of high schoolers! If Obama wants to win in Afghanistan, forget the drones killing innocent children. Just parachute about 400 freshmen in. The Taliban will be heading for the hills in a matter of minutes!

I’ve gotta find another job. And quickly! Maybe Wal-Mart? Yeah, Wal-Mart! Doing something I could actually be proud of doing. I just hope some basketball player in Washington doesn’t tell me how to do my job there.