Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Camp Nick celebrates Earth Day

Campers are getting ready to celebrate Earth Day at The Nick. Many events have been planned by the Camp Nickleby Friends of the Earth club. President of the club, Flower Rainbow Light is very excited. “We have been waiting all year for our big day,” she proclaimed. Some of the events include a tree hugging competition, a giant pin-the-tail-on-Secretary Kempthorne game, and a recycling scavenger hunt. Campers will be scouring the woods, within a two-mile radius, for plastic bottles and aluminum cans.

Ms. Light plans to end the day with the creation of a giant sculpture of wingnut writer, Ann Coulter! Flower Rainbow says she got the idea for this sculpture after talking to one of our newer students, Chastity Young-Smith. Fifteen-year-old Chastity’s father (or is he her husband) spoke up in Mr. Pythagoras’s science class yesterday and said that recycling is ‘for retards’. Chastity said that she read in Ann Coulter’s book Godless, that Coulter questions why children must be taught that recycling is the only answer? “Why aren't we teaching children "safe littering"?” Ms. Coulter said. Ms. Coulter apparently believes that recycling is just another facet of the greater communist-liberal-homosexual agenda that is ruining America today. Chastity believes that God will eventually just pick up after us, because He loves us so much.

Once the giant sculpture was completed, Flower Rainbow intended to set fire to the masterpiece, and create a Burning Ann Festival, but without the requisite public nudity. The captain of the Cedarville Volunteer Fire Department got wind of this and let Ms. Light and the rest of the campers know that this just wasn’t a good idea. Ms. Light was very disappointed but, being a good lover of Mother Earth, will instead take the bottle and cans to the local recycling center and use the money to purchase festive Friends of the Earth Club doo-rags.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

funny stuff, funny stuff like the website.....

Sanders BUT not the COLONEL said...

Vote for the Colonel! She has the recipe!

In honor of the Pennsylvanian election / earth day Camp Nickleby councilors elections are being held....this is where the campers vote on who should stay and who should get kicked off our campsite. These votes also go towards our MERIT pay!!!! After all this is an adult popularity contest, is it not???

Time to sign up for camp activities..there are still a few slots open in the Spring Schedule:

. Raise Your Own Chicken Dinner (hen, hatchet and seasoning mix available at our student store)

. Advanced Test Bubbling Designs (must have already taken Beginning Test Bubbling)

. Copy-right (making fun CDs for PROM and not paying royalties)

.Learned Helplessness (We will fill out the forms for you)

Anonymous said...

my favorite line, "Chastity believes that God will eventually just pick up after us, because He loves us so much"
Your writing is getting better everytday...more refined and the barb is getting sharper...very fun to read but also close to the truth. Keep it up Silk Purse maker.