Pssssst! What did you get for No. 17?
Well, that glorious day has arrived! Let the high-stakes testing begin. All the kids at Camp Nickleby are fired up, ready to show the California Department of Education and President George W. Bush how much they learned this past year. Some even brought their own No. 2 pencils to school!
Early word from some teachers indicates there might be some problems in our journey to that magical score of 800. Many kids are totally mystified by just filling in the information required on the cover of the test booklet. According to one teacher, about 20% of her class had difficulty writing in their own names. Some were unable to bubble in the version number of the test booklet they had, which is very important when it comes to scoring. Many confused the test version number with their grade level. A good number needed help in deciding which ethnicity they were. This, of course, is extremely important when the government ascertains whether or not a school is closing the ‘achievement gap’, or when they need to decide which criteria to use when invading and occupying a school.
Oddly enough, one young lady started answering question 100 first, and worked backwards to question 1. Quite puzzling, until the teacher realized this student recently transferred in from Tel Aviv. Apparently she confused the test with the Torah.
Being of the bubble-filling generation, many got a tad carried away and created some great masterpieces with the answer sheets. So far, there have been two Jasper Johns, three Andy Warhols, seven Frank Stellas, and four Jackson Pollocks, which ain’t an easy thing to do with bubbles!
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4 comments:
Three cheers for a grand attempt to raise those points!
I know what you are going through. As the conductress of a swine chorus, we are in the midst of festival season, attempting to rise in the rankings from last year.
Despite the cacophony of our rehearsals, we seem to be improving, or at least my ears have become numb.
We would like to perform for all you campers at CN. Show our stuff. Please keep in mind, however, that my pigs practice only one song over and over again, until they perform well. Unfortunately, we have indeed become frustrated and annoyed too often, and so would welcome a refreshing outing to your camp.
Cheers to you all!
I googled but I can NOT find the online standardized test answer generator? I know that camp NICKLEBY is on the cutting edge of technology. I was wondering if you had a copy I could “borrow” I did find a make your own cookie fortune, and evil magic eight ball program. That I will have to use in the meantime or I will just have to resort to guessing “B” until I can locate the “real” program. Eight ball says OUTLOOK IS NOT GOOD!
Testing factoid: guessing the same letter is far better than guessing random letters like say “J”. Translation pick letter B and GUESS it consistently. This give you, the guess-master a 25% change of being correct…which is a far high chance or correctness than you would get from say reading the question and using your own deductive reasoning….
high=higher
dang that on line proof raeder.....
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